Doubters, doctors, denial, and decisions.

I was speaking to Ben this morning about his treatment and how hard it is to have faith in the medical industry through chemotherapy.

I mean, a few months ago, Ben seemed fine. He was happy and functioning, but his problem wasn't visible. His cancer was small and new, and not yet outwardly affecting him physically in anyway.

In contrast to this, now that he is having treatment, NOW his suffereing is so clearly visible. NOW he looks like someone who is sick. NOW we are being told that the poisons being injected into him are so caustic, they will burn your skin. NOW he is taking pills and pills and pills.

Suddenly, I have to put immense trust into these strangers in the medical industry, that all this suffering is for the greater good. That their intentions are pure, and that there is no conspiracy at work here. And at these times I can understand opinions like Freelees and Belles.

I don't know any facts: I only know what 'they' tell me. I have no personal experience: All the people I have ever known that have had cancer have had treatment, but have then - eventually - died. The doubters have as many anecdotes, facts and statistics as the doctors. Are any of them really the unbiased truth?

I guess the conclusion I have come to here is "I dont know", but ultimately "it's not my decision". It's Ben's body, his journey, and I support whatever he choses to do. And he chooses to put his faith in science and conventional medicine. But, that wont stop me from reading and searching. There's nothing to stop me from finding complimentary medicines and enlisting a good diet based on unprocessed, plant-based, organic, wholefoods.

I mean, It cant hurt, right?